What did Indians teach me about assertiveness?
What did Indians teach me about assertiveness? I’m OK – You’re OK The simplest (and still the most accurate) way I’d define assertiveness comes from EricBerne’s Transactional Analysis: assertive is a mindset and a way of communicatingthat expresses “I’m OK – You’re OK.” For years I’ve been running assertiveness workshops mostly in European and Americancontexts. Here assertiveness is usually understood quite specifically – as settingboundaries, saying “no,” expressing your opinion. In short, it’s taking care mostly of “I’mOK.” And then COMMUNICATING IT in a way that doesn’t attack or offend the otherperson (for example, by using “I statements”). And yes, this matters. I feel the issue starts when “I’m OK” becomes our main referencepoint. Assertiveness – Indian style When I started working with participants from India, it hit me that I’m only really beginningto understand the other half of the equation: “You’re OK.” During a series of assertiveness trainings for one company, but conducted in differentlocations, I gave participants the same business case studies. Rather regular stuff: ademanding client, a manager with unrealistic expectations, time pressure, and conflictingpriorities in a team. Participants from Poland or the US would usually react fast and to the point: “We needto set a boundary!”; “We need to clearly say this is not possible.”; “We have to manageexpectations here.” Clear, direct, and protecting themselves. Participants from India much more often… paused. And then did a few things thatshifted the frame from “difficult situation → assertive reaction” to something verydifferent: Instead of jumping straight to a response, Indians would often start by trying tounderstand what might be behind the “difficult” behavior. They’d ask and discuss whatkind of pressure the manager might be currently under, what constraints the client mighthave, and what’s happening on the other side. This wasn’t a sign of being passive. It lookedlike a conscious choice to understand the context better before responding or acting. Instead of immediately saying “no,” they would more often start with questions to clarifyexpectations, ask about priorities, and check what actually matters. So instead of thinking:“How do I say I can’t do this?” they would rather engage in a conversation and ask:“What’s most important here?” or “Would it be OK if we did it this way?” Boundarieswere still there, but more often as an outcome of the conversation, not as a starting point. Instead of building arguments for why something isn’t possible, they focused theirenergy on searching for the conditions under which things could work. Sometimes it meant doingit later.Sometimes checking internally with their manager first. But very often it meant a realeffort to meet the other side halfway – even if they could not answer the requestimmediately or fully. I have the sense that in “Western” (or more precisely, individualistic) cultures,assertiveness tends to focus on the individual: “How should I respond?” “How do Iprotect my space?”; “How do I say this is not OK for me?” Participants from India more often looked at the situation systemically, and theyconsidered all stakeholders involved – directly and indirectly. For example, when the situation involved talking to their manager about pushing back onunrealistic client expectations, instead of just setting a boundary with their manager, theywould suggest bringing everyone together on a call. Or solving it at the process level.They were looking at different connections, not just one interaction. Assertiveness 2.0: I’m OK – You’re OK (but for real) Does that mean “the West” is wrong? No. But more and more I feel like ourunderstanding of assertiveness is simply… incomplete. It focuses heavily on directness,boundaries, self-expression, protecting our own resources. At the same time, it looks alittle too less at really trying to understand the other side, building a shared solution, andworking on the relationship (and not just “delivering a well-phrased message”). These workshops really shifted the focus point for me from “How do I set a boundary ina constructive way?” to “How do I try to find a solution where both sides are genuinelyOK?” Yes, sure – there are situations where assertiveness simply means a clear “no.” But veryoften, it invites something else, something possibly a bit harder: pausing before reacting,self-reflection (“What would actually be OK for me here?”), conversation, curiosity, theeffort to look for alternatives. Because real assertiveness doesn’t end with “I’m OK.” It starts when we take “You’reOK” just as seriously.
Makar Sankranti: Czas, cykle i czego możemy się nauczyć o postępie
Makar Sankranti: Timing, Cycles, and What We Can Learn About Progress “Oh sorry, I need to run! I ordered breakfast for 9 today!” I exclaimed almost mid-sentence, interrupting the story I was telling the yoga teacher, and a minute later I was pedalling fast on the “wrong” side of the small village road. The locals were just about starting their day as I rushed past them. I reached my resort six minutes past nine. Out of breath, I grabbed (not literally!) the first service person I saw and apologetically asked for a few extra minutes to freshen up and change before they served breakfast. He was clearly alarmed by my stressed-out entry and inquired empathetically if I was OK. When I explained the reason for my worry, he grinned, shook his head sideways and said: “Oh, no tension, Ma’am. Take your time. We will serve the breakfast whenever YOU ARE READY.” “Oh dear. That’s right. It’s just breakfast. I am still so much in my ticking-clock mode…” I thought, relaxing my shoulders a bit as I headed to the room to change. Should clock precision define events in life? Or should timing flexibly follow events in life? We have all been culturally conditioned to adopt one of these approaches as our “default”, while the other we apply more occasionally. Have you ever stopped to notice which one is your default? In January, in India, we celebrate Makar Sankranti – unusual among Hindu festivals because it follows the solar calendar rather than the lunar one. It marks the Sun’s transition into Makar (Capricorn) and the gradual return of longer, brighter days after winter. Across India, it is celebrated under different names, with different rituals, foods, and local traditions, but the underlying meaning remains deeply shared. At its heart, Makar Sankranti is a harvest festival, a moment to pause, acknowledge what has been cultivated, and give thanks before turning attention to what is yet to grow. There is no rush in this transition. No sense of urgency to “move on” too quickly. The cycle is respected. This idea of timing runs deep in Indian culture. Progress is not separated from patience. Effort is not detached from rhythm. You don’t rush a harvest just because the calendar says it’s time; you wait until the conditions are right. And this mindset doesn’t stay in the fields. It carries into personal life. I experienced it strongly last year while processing a major life crisis and battling internally to accept that certain things – understanding, clarity, peace, acceptance – can’t be rushed. But they do come, if you patiently tune in to the process. Whenever YOU ARE READY. Not on a predefined, wishful schedule. This perspective naturally carries into business and professional relationships too. For those working with Indian partners, Makar Sankranti offers a powerful reminder: decisions are often shaped more by context and timing than by pressure or speed. Relationships are not a “soft” aspect of work, they are foundational. Trust, alignment, and mutual understanding are not things you accelerate; they are things you build. This can feel counterintuitive in cultures where urgency is praised, and speed is equated with effectiveness. But in cross-cultural collaboration, especially with India, working with the rhythm instead of against it can make the difference between friction and flow. On a more personal note, Makar Sankranti has always been one of my favourite festivals. Perhaps because I’m a Sun-loving Capricorn myself, and perhaps because the symbolism of winter slowly loosening its grip resonates with me every year. There is something deeply hopeful about this moment, not loud hope, but quiet, grounded optimism. So… should clock precision define events in life? Or should timing flexibly follow events in life? Which of these approaches, clock-based or event-based, is your default mode?
Culture PRO™ — jak przenieść swój zespół na wyższy poziom
Culture PRO™ is an original approach designed to help professionals build long-lasting, fulfilling, and effective intercultural relationships.Its goal is to develop cultural competence and confidence in global environments.I’m proud to say it isn’t a checklist. It’s a practice. And it sits at the heart of every training, session, and conversation I lead. What is Culture PRO™? Culture PRO™ is my signature method for working across cultures with greater impact and humanity.It’s built on three essential pillars: Perception. Respect. Openness. Each one stands on its own, but together, they form a powerful, practical foundation for real intercultural leadership.Not the kind that avoids difference, but the kind that engages with it fully, with skill and presence. Perception: See the Whole Picture In intercultural work, what we perceive is only the surface:a tone of voice, a delayed response, a surprising reaction in a meeting.Beneath that surface are values, norms, and lived experiences; layers that shape every interaction. Culture PRO™ starts here: with awareness. Beginning with your cultural lens. When we pause to examine what we bring into a situation, our assumptions, habits, and expectations, we begin to notice patterns.We stop labeling things as “weird” or “wrong” and start recognizing them as different responses to different realities. Respect: Engage with Intention Not all tension in intercultural collaboration is avoidable. And that’s okay.The key is learning to respond with intention, not just instinct. In the Culture PRO™ method, respect means choosing curiosity over judgment.It’s not about being overly agreeable or walking on eggshells.It’s about showing up fully, especially when things feel uncomfortable. This pillar gives you tools to pause and reflect.To ask: What else could be going on here?And to respond in ways that preserve connection while honoring difference. You move from reactive to strategic.From polite to truly present. Openness: Turn Insight into Action Understanding is not the finish line — it’s the starting point. To build strong intercultural relationships, we need to act on that understanding. Openness means staying flexible, and co-creating new ways of working, without losing your core values.It’s about adapting where it matters, expressing yourself in ways that resonate, and listening in ways that invite trust. This is also where we develop practical, culturally relevant DOs and DON’Ts — not as rigid rules, but as shared agreements grounded in real dialogue and mutual respect. In a way, this pillar ties the whole method together: > Perception gives you awareness. > Respect builds trust. > Openness helps you act with purpose. What Makes This Method Different? Most intercultural trainings focus on surface-level facts:What’s appropriate in one culture versus another. That kind of knowledge can be useful, but on its own, it’s not enough. Culture PRO™ goes deeper.It doesn’t teach you what to think about different cultures.It teaches you how to notice patterns, relate across them, and lead with integrity. It’s not one-size-fits-all.It’s human-centered.It adapts to your team, your challenges, and your goals. And above all, it’s rooted in relationship.Because across cultures, it’s not just what you know that matters. It’s how you connect. The Bottom Line Culture PRO™ isn’t magic.It won’t make cultural differences disappear, and that’s not the point. The point is to approach those differences with clarity, skill, and humanity. Because when you do, something powerful happens:You stop seeing culture as an obstacle.You start seeing it as a resource. And from there, you build: > Better conversations. > Better teams. > Better work. Curious to experience the Culture PRO™ method in action?I invite you to explore my trainings, workshops, and sessions. Let’s make cultural difference your greatest professional advantage.
Dopamina i efektywność: Jak naprawdę działa motywacja (i jak z nią pracować)
By Klaudia Fryc-Mallick We often think of productivity as a matter of discipline. But beneath that… There’s chemistry. In our pursuit of efficiency, we often rely on systems: task managers, color-coded calendars, productivity hacks. But behind all these strategies, there’s one powerful driver quietly shaping our behavior: dopamine. Far from being the “pleasure chemical,” dopamine is the neurotransmitter of motivation, focus, and goal-directed action. It’s what gives us that little mental push to send the email we’ve been postponing, tick off a task, or even just start. Efficiency starts in the brain Dopamine is released when we anticipate a reward, not just when we receive it. This is why planning a vacation can feel more exciting than actually being on one, or why visualizing a completed project can energize us to begin. If your days feel scattered or you’re stuck in “planning mode” without action, it’s not always a mindset issue. Often, it’s your brain telling you that the reward isn’t clear enough (or meaningful enough) to trigger the dopamine response that fuels action. Easy dopamine vs. sustainable motivation In a world of notifications, dopamine has become dangerously easy to access. Social media, short videos, and algorithm-driven content offer quick dopamine hits with minimal effort. The problem? This overstimulation can dull our sensitivity to dopamine over time. What used to feel motivating (like completing a small task or receiving thoughtful feedback) starts to feel… flat. It’s not about quitting tech, but being more intentional with your attention, protecting your brain’s natural motivation cycles, and helping bring focus back to what truly matters. Working with your dopamine Here are a few brain-friendly ways to enhance your focus and productivity without relying on shortcuts: Break big goals into small wins: Dopamine loves progress. Checking off smaller milestones keeps the reward loop active. Protect your attention: Limit multitasking and avoid reward-saturated loops like endless scrolling. Prioritize real rest: Dopamine receptors are replenished during sleep. Burnout is not efficient. Feed your brain: Foods rich in tyrosine (like eggs, legumes, fish) support healthy dopamine production. Introduce mindful novelty: New challenges or skills (within reason) activate dopamine circuits more sustainably than mindless stimulation. A new way of thinking about productivity If you often feel that staying focused or following through requires pushing against yourself, maybe it’s time to rethink the narrative. Efficiency isn’t just a matter of discipline or external systems. It’s about creating the right internal conditions so your brain wants to act. Understanding dopamine is a powerful first step. Let your productivity be brain-informed and human-centered. 😉
Why Cultural Intelligence Is No Longer Optional in Global Business
More than ever, cultural intelligence (CQ) has become a critical skill, whether you’re managing people, building products, or simply trying to create real connections across cultures.