What did Indians teach me about assertiveness?
What did Indians teach me about assertiveness? I’m OK – You’re OK The simplest (and still the most accurate) way I’d define assertiveness comes from EricBerne’s Transactional Analysis: assertive is a mindset and a way of communicatingthat expresses “I’m OK – You’re OK.” For years I’ve been running assertiveness workshops mostly in European and Americancontexts. Here assertiveness is usually understood quite specifically – as settingboundaries, saying “no,” expressing your opinion. In short, it’s taking care mostly of “I’mOK.” And then COMMUNICATING IT in a way that doesn’t attack or offend the otherperson (for example, by using “I statements”). And yes, this matters. I feel the issue starts when “I’m OK” becomes our main referencepoint. Assertiveness – Indian style When I started working with participants from India, it hit me that I’m only really beginningto understand the other half of the equation: “You’re OK.” During a series of assertiveness trainings for one company, but conducted in differentlocations, I gave participants the same business case studies. Rather regular stuff: ademanding client, a manager with unrealistic expectations, time pressure, and conflictingpriorities in a team. Participants from Poland or the US would usually react fast and to the point: “We needto set a boundary!”; “We need to clearly say this is not possible.”; “We have to manageexpectations here.” Clear, direct, and protecting themselves. Participants from India much more often… paused. And then did a few things thatshifted the frame from “difficult situation → assertive reaction” to something verydifferent: Instead of jumping straight to a response, Indians would often start by trying tounderstand what might be behind the “difficult” behavior. They’d ask and discuss whatkind of pressure the manager might be currently under, what constraints the client mighthave, and what’s happening on the other side. This wasn’t a sign of being passive. It lookedlike a conscious choice to understand the context better before responding or acting. Instead of immediately saying “no,” they would more often start with questions to clarifyexpectations, ask about priorities, and check what actually matters. So instead of thinking:“How do I say I can’t do this?” they would rather engage in a conversation and ask:“What’s most important here?” or “Would it be OK if we did it this way?” Boundarieswere still there, but more often as an outcome of the conversation, not as a starting point. Instead of building arguments for why something isn’t possible, they focused theirenergy on searching for the conditions under which things could work. Sometimes it meant doingit later.Sometimes checking internally with their manager first. But very often it meant a realeffort to meet the other side halfway – even if they could not answer the requestimmediately or fully. I have the sense that in “Western” (or more precisely, individualistic) cultures,assertiveness tends to focus on the individual: “How should I respond?” “How do Iprotect my space?”; “How do I say this is not OK for me?” Participants from India more often looked at the situation systemically, and theyconsidered all stakeholders involved – directly and indirectly. For example, when the situation involved talking to their manager about pushing back onunrealistic client expectations, instead of just setting a boundary with their manager, theywould suggest bringing everyone together on a call. Or solving it at the process level.They were looking at different connections, not just one interaction. Assertiveness 2.0: I’m OK – You’re OK (but for real) Does that mean “the West” is wrong? No. But more and more I feel like ourunderstanding of assertiveness is simply… incomplete. It focuses heavily on directness,boundaries, self-expression, protecting our own resources. At the same time, it looks alittle too less at really trying to understand the other side, building a shared solution, andworking on the relationship (and not just “delivering a well-phrased message”). These workshops really shifted the focus point for me from “How do I set a boundary ina constructive way?” to “How do I try to find a solution where both sides are genuinelyOK?” Yes, sure – there are situations where assertiveness simply means a clear “no.” But veryoften, it invites something else, something possibly a bit harder: pausing before reacting,self-reflection (“What would actually be OK for me here?”), conversation, curiosity, theeffort to look for alternatives. Because real assertiveness doesn’t end with “I’m OK.” It starts when we take “You’reOK” just as seriously.
Makar Sankranti: Timing, Cycles, and What We Can Learn About Progress
Makar Sankranti: Timing, Cycles, and What We Can Learn About Progress “Oh sorry, I need to run! I ordered breakfast for 9 today!” I exclaimed almost mid-sentence, interrupting the story I was telling the yoga teacher, and a minute later I was pedalling fast on the “wrong” side of the small village road. The locals were just about starting their day as I rushed past them. I reached my resort six minutes past nine. Out of breath, I grabbed (not literally!) the first service person I saw and apologetically asked for a few extra minutes to freshen up and change before they served breakfast. He was clearly alarmed by my stressed-out entry and inquired empathetically if I was OK. When I explained the reason for my worry, he grinned, shook his head sideways and said: “Oh, no tension, Ma’am. Take your time. We will serve the breakfast whenever YOU ARE READY.” “Oh dear. That’s right. It’s just breakfast. I am still so much in my ticking-clock mode…” I thought, relaxing my shoulders a bit as I headed to the room to change. Should clock precision define events in life? Or should timing flexibly follow events in life? We have all been culturally conditioned to adopt one of these approaches as our “default”, while the other we apply more occasionally. Have you ever stopped to notice which one is your default? In January, in India, we celebrate Makar Sankranti – unusual among Hindu festivals because it follows the solar calendar rather than the lunar one. It marks the Sun’s transition into Makar (Capricorn) and the gradual return of longer, brighter days after winter. Across India, it is celebrated under different names, with different rituals, foods, and local traditions, but the underlying meaning remains deeply shared. At its heart, Makar Sankranti is a harvest festival, a moment to pause, acknowledge what has been cultivated, and give thanks before turning attention to what is yet to grow. There is no rush in this transition. No sense of urgency to “move on” too quickly. The cycle is respected. This idea of timing runs deep in Indian culture. Progress is not separated from patience. Effort is not detached from rhythm. You don’t rush a harvest just because the calendar says it’s time; you wait until the conditions are right. And this mindset doesn’t stay in the fields. It carries into personal life. I experienced it strongly last year while processing a major life crisis and battling internally to accept that certain things – understanding, clarity, peace, acceptance – can’t be rushed. But they do come, if you patiently tune in to the process. Whenever YOU ARE READY. Not on a predefined, wishful schedule. This perspective naturally carries into business and professional relationships too. For those working with Indian partners, Makar Sankranti offers a powerful reminder: decisions are often shaped more by context and timing than by pressure or speed. Relationships are not a “soft” aspect of work, they are foundational. Trust, alignment, and mutual understanding are not things you accelerate; they are things you build. This can feel counterintuitive in cultures where urgency is praised, and speed is equated with effectiveness. But in cross-cultural collaboration, especially with India, working with the rhythm instead of against it can make the difference between friction and flow. On a more personal note, Makar Sankranti has always been one of my favourite festivals. Perhaps because I’m a Sun-loving Capricorn myself, and perhaps because the symbolism of winter slowly loosening its grip resonates with me every year. There is something deeply hopeful about this moment, not loud hope, but quiet, grounded optimism. So… should clock precision define events in life? Or should timing flexibly follow events in life? Which of these approaches, clock-based or event-based, is your default mode?
Thank You 2025
Thank You 2025 As 2025 comes to an end, I find myself returning to the moments that stayed with me: the conversations, the rooms, the unexpected discoveries, and the people who turned this year into something larger than a sequence of months. When I try to summarise it, one thought keeps appearing: this was a year built TOGETHER. A large part of my year was spent with teams diving into leadership, communication, and intercultural collaboration. And while the topics were important, what stayed with me were the human moments that emerged between them. There is something incredibly meaningful about being in a room where people feel safe enough to speak openly, to share their perspective, their story, their experience. Sometimes all someone needs is a space where they can talk and truly be heard. Watching those connections form, often among colleagues who don’t usually have the chance for deeper conversations, is one of the most rewarding parts of my work. It’s not always easy to open up in front of a group, and maybe that’s why, when it happens, it feels so genuine, so real. One of my other favourite moments of connection was the live event we hosted with Sylwia Królikowska, How to Give Feedback: Say It, Don’t Slay It, a fully English session filled with energy, humour and thoughtful discussion (And yes, the brilliant name was entirely Sylwia’s idea). A Heartfelt Weekend in Gdańsk The Gdańsk Book Fair was one of those moments where everything felt aligned in a very human way. Meeting readers who stopped simply to talk, to ask questions, or to share why the book caught their attention, those exchanges meant a lot. There was a genuine openness in those conversations that made the weekend feel generous. It was also deeply comforting to have Barbara Wrzos there with me, the person who helped turn my book into the physical product you’re now reading. After everything we shared during the Polish publication process, seeing her at the stand brought a sense of grounding and companionship that I appreciated more than I can express. And then there were the authors, brilliant women whose work I admired immediately. Our chats about writing, culture, and the strange, wonderful life of books were some of the most inspiring moments of the fair. Somewhere amid all that warmth and movement, the first English copies of Masala@Work appeared. Quietly, without fanfare, but with a feeling of possibility. Holding them at the fair, surrounded by people who have been part of my journey, felt symbolically right. A New Chapter: Masala@Work in English And then came the next big milestone: the English edition of Masala@Work.A project that started years ago in Polish finally opened its doors to a wider world of readers. The translation process had its own challenges. I wanted the English version to feel as warm and intentional as the original, while also speaking clearly to an international audience. The launch event has been postponed to early 2026 (thank you for your patience!), but the book is officially out, and the first readers have already begun reaching out. Knowing that Masala@Work can now support people far beyond Poland is something I still struggle to put into words. And Last, but not least If I had to choose one defining theme of this year, it wouldn’t be a project or an event, it would be… You! The people who read my posts.The people who comment, share their perspectives, ask questions, disagree kindly, or simply say: “This made me think.”The people who show up to trainings, lives, and book events with open minds.The people who take one minute from their busy day to engage with something I wrote. You have no idea how meaningful that is. Knowing that my work reaches someone, supports someone, clarifies something or simply sparks a moment of reflection; that’s what keeps me going. That’s what makes the long hours, the prep work, the travel and the writing feel worthwhile. And this year, more than any other, I felt the presence of a community around me, curious, thoughtful and wonderfully engaged. Thank you for walking this path with me in 2025.I’m grateful for every conversation we had, every message you sent, every moment you chose to spend here. Here’s to what we learned, and to everything waiting for us in 2026.
Neurotransmitter Series 2 – Serotonin: The Chemistry of Calm, Satisfaction, and Presence
The Chemistry of Calm, Satisfaction, and Presence When we talk about brain chemistry, dopamine often gets the spotlight: the motivator, the thrill-seeker, the one that fuels ambition and drive. But today, let’s shift the focus to another key player that shapes our well-being in quieter, steadier ways: serotonin. What is Serotonin, really? Serotonin (5-HT) is a neurotransmitter best known for its role in mood regulation, but it does much more than that. It contributes to emotional stability, impulse control, sleep, digestion, memory, and even how safe we feel in our bodies and environments. Where dopamine is associated with desire, serotonin is about contentment. It doesn’t push us toward what’s next; it helps us feel at peace with what is. It’s the neurochemical that supports: Serotonin as part of the “Here & Now” system Drawing from the framework in The Molecule of More, our brains operate through two complementary systems: Dopamine says: “You’re not there yet, go get it.”Serotonin says: “You’re here now, and this is enough.” Why serotonin matters more than we think In high-performance environments, it’s easy to live in dopamine mode: chasing, striving, accomplishing. But without serotonin, this cycle can quickly become exhausting or empty. Serotonin doesn’t just “calm you down”, it’s what helps you: It creates inner stability. And in times of overstimulation, uncertainty, or pressure, that might be the most valuable chemical of all. How to support serotonin Unlike dopamine, which is often sparked by external rewards, serotonin is nurtured through internal and relational cues. Research points to several natural ways to boost it: These aren’t productivity hacks; they’re practices that allow your nervous system to feel safe enough to rest and replenish. The dopamine–serotonin balance Dopamine is still important. It gives us drive, innovation, curiosity, and desire. But too much dopamine without enough serotonin creates an imbalance: we chase more, enjoy less. The nervous system becomes overstimulated, and satisfaction feels just out of reach. That’s why creating space for both is essential:Strive, yes, but also settle.Reach forward, and then rest back.Celebrate not only what’s next, but what’s here. Final thought In the world of leadership, growth, and global collaboration, serotonin might not be the loudest voice in the room, but it’s the one that makes everything feel sustainable. So this month, I invite you to notice:What brings you peace, not just excitement?Where do you feel grounded, not just productive? Serotonin might be quietly answering those questions.
The Quiet Work of Living Between Cultures
We often talk about the beauty of living across cultures — the broadened perspectives, the meaningful connections, the once-in-a-lifetime experiences. And all of that is true. But there’s another side to it that doesn’t often make it into pictures or stories. Living between cultures can also be quietly exhausting. Beyond adaptation I spent a few years in Scotland. One thing that confused me endlessly in Aberdeen was the way people said, “You alright?” when passing you in the corridor or at the start of a conversation. The first time someone asked me, I started explaining – “Yes, just a bit tired, didn’t sleep well…” – and they looked surprised. I didn’t realise it was just another way of saying “hello.” Over time, I learned that these small rituals carry emotional codes of their own. That “you alright?” wasn’t a question – it was a way of gently opening the door to connection. I still sometimes over-answer it. But I also smile now when I hear it – a tiny reminder of how complex and fascinating communication can be. Adapting to a different culture isn’t just about learning how people greet each other or what’s considered polite. It’s about attuning yourself to a different emotional code — often one that’s unspoken. It takes: Openness, to notice how people speak and connect. Vulnerability, to express yourself in new ways — linguistically, emotionally, even physically. Courage, to engage with difference — whether that’s being seen as different, or facing a culture that feels deeply unfamiliar. This process is often invisible. But it’s constant. In-between worlds Sometimes, living across cultures means translating your thoughts more than once before speaking.Sometimes, it’s wondering how much of your own cultural heritage to carry with you — and how much space to leave for what’s new. I remember one evening at a pub in Aberdeen, sitting with a group of Scottish classmates. We were all chatting, laughing – but I noticed something: they rarely talked about themselves. Everything was wrapped in humour or deflection. I had grown up with a different kind of openness, where emotions could be named more directly. That night, I shared something a bit personal – nothing dramatic, just a little window into how I was feeling. The conversation went quiet. Not unkind – just… uncertain. Only later did I realise I had crossed an invisible line that evening. It wasn’t about what I said – but how early I said it. There’s a dance to connection in every culture. That night, I learned one of the steps. Living in between often means feeling a bit like an outsider. And that’s hard to explain to people who haven’t experienced it. But here’s the thing: Feeling “in between” isn’t a weakness.It’s a reflection of everything you’re holding, and how deeply you’re navigating. What you gain There’s a quiet kind of power that comes from cross-cultural living.It can make you more perceptive. More grounded. More attuned to nuance. It’s not always easy — but it’s incredibly rewarding. Because when you live between cultures, you start to notice what connects people. You understand multiple realities. And you gain the ability to choose what you carry forward — and what you let go. That’s not just cultural intelligence.That’s human wisdom. Let’s keep the conversation going If this resonates with you, I’d love to hear your story.Let’s keep talking — about the joys and the challenges of life across cultures.
Culture PRO™ and how to bring your team to the next level
Culture PRO™ is an original approach designed to help professionals build long-lasting, fulfilling, and effective intercultural relationships.Its goal is to develop cultural competence and confidence in global environments.I’m proud to say it isn’t a checklist. It’s a practice. And it sits at the heart of every training, session, and conversation I lead. What is Culture PRO™? Culture PRO™ is my signature method for working across cultures with greater impact and humanity.It’s built on three essential pillars: Perception. Respect. Openness. Each one stands on its own, but together, they form a powerful, practical foundation for real intercultural leadership.Not the kind that avoids difference, but the kind that engages with it fully, with skill and presence. Perception: See the Whole Picture In intercultural work, what we perceive is only the surface:a tone of voice, a delayed response, a surprising reaction in a meeting.Beneath that surface are values, norms, and lived experiences; layers that shape every interaction. Culture PRO™ starts here: with awareness. Beginning with your cultural lens. When we pause to examine what we bring into a situation, our assumptions, habits, and expectations, we begin to notice patterns.We stop labeling things as “weird” or “wrong” and start recognizing them as different responses to different realities. Respect: Engage with Intention Not all tension in intercultural collaboration is avoidable. And that’s okay.The key is learning to respond with intention, not just instinct. In the Culture PRO™ method, respect means choosing curiosity over judgment.It’s not about being overly agreeable or walking on eggshells.It’s about showing up fully, especially when things feel uncomfortable. This pillar gives you tools to pause and reflect.To ask: What else could be going on here?And to respond in ways that preserve connection while honoring difference. You move from reactive to strategic.From polite to truly present. Openness: Turn Insight into Action Understanding is not the finish line — it’s the starting point. To build strong intercultural relationships, we need to act on that understanding. Openness means staying flexible, and co-creating new ways of working, without losing your core values.It’s about adapting where it matters, expressing yourself in ways that resonate, and listening in ways that invite trust. This is also where we develop practical, culturally relevant DOs and DON’Ts — not as rigid rules, but as shared agreements grounded in real dialogue and mutual respect. In a way, this pillar ties the whole method together: > Perception gives you awareness. > Respect builds trust. > Openness helps you act with purpose. What Makes This Method Different? Most intercultural trainings focus on surface-level facts:What’s appropriate in one culture versus another. That kind of knowledge can be useful, but on its own, it’s not enough. Culture PRO™ goes deeper.It doesn’t teach you what to think about different cultures.It teaches you how to notice patterns, relate across them, and lead with integrity. It’s not one-size-fits-all.It’s human-centered.It adapts to your team, your challenges, and your goals. And above all, it’s rooted in relationship.Because across cultures, it’s not just what you know that matters. It’s how you connect. The Bottom Line Culture PRO™ isn’t magic.It won’t make cultural differences disappear, and that’s not the point. The point is to approach those differences with clarity, skill, and humanity. Because when you do, something powerful happens:You stop seeing culture as an obstacle.You start seeing it as a resource. And from there, you build: > Better conversations. > Better teams. > Better work. Curious to experience the Culture PRO™ method in action?I invite you to explore my trainings, workshops, and sessions. Let’s make cultural difference your greatest professional advantage.
3 Things People Often Misunderstand About Indian Workplace Culture
by Klaudia Fryc-Mallick When collaborating across cultures, misunderstandings aren’t just possible — they’re inevitable. But some of them are predictable, and with the right insight, preventable. Indian workplace culture is rich, dynamic, and often misunderstood, especially by professionals coming from more individualistic or low-context cultures. Here are three common misconceptions — and what to understand instead. 1. “They’re not being clear.”The misunderstanding:Many Western professionals perceive Indian colleagues as vague or evasive, especially when it comes to saying “no,” expressing concerns, or offering feedback. The reality:In many Indian professional settings, communication is context-rich and relational. Directness can be seen as impolite or confrontational. Rather than saying “no” outright, colleagues might say “we’ll try,” or “let’s see,” especially if the request comes from someone in a position of authority. What to do:Learn to read between the lines — and create space for clarity. Instead of yes/no questions, ask open-ended ones. Build trust first. Clarity often follows connection. 2. “They don’t care about deadlines.”The misunderstanding:Missed deadlines or last-minute changes may be interpreted as a lack of professionalism or accountability. The reality:Indian work environments often emphasize flexibility and responsiveness over rigid scheduling. Many teams juggle complex hierarchies, shared responsibilities, and evolving priorities. The commitment is real, but the timeline may be fluid. What to do:Don’t assume lack of care. Instead, co-create timelines, confirm expectations regularly, and allow for check-ins. When possible, factor in buffer time, and clarify what’s truly non-negotiable. 3. “They’re uncomfortable with feedback.”The misunderstanding:European or North American colleagues may struggle with how to give or receive feedback with Indian teams. There’s a fear of offending — or of not being honest enough. The reality:Feedback is deeply relational in Indian culture. It’s not just about what you say, but how — and when — you say it. Negative feedback, especially in group settings or over email, can risk shame or loss of face. But when approached with care, it’s welcomed and respected. What to do:Follow the #HPSP rule: Hard on the Problem, Soft on the Person. Be clear and specific about the issue, and gentle and respectful in tone. One-on-one settings work best. And don’t forget to offer reinforcing feedback too — praise goes a long way. Understanding workplace culture isn’t about mastering a list of dos and don’ts — it’s about noticing your assumptions, staying curious, and practicing empathy. If you’re navigating collaboration with Indian teams — or just want to strengthen your cultural intelligence — download the Masala@Work Preview. It’s full of real-world examples and actionable insights to help you connect more meaningfully across borders. Get your copy here
Why Cultural Intelligence Is No Longer Optional in Global Business
More than ever, cultural intelligence (CQ) has become a critical skill, whether you’re managing people, building products, or simply trying to create real connections across cultures.